I was on my phone for two hours last night and I can account for almost none of it. There was a video of a city flooding. There was someone's baby taking its first steps. There was a celebrity saying something. There was breaking news of some kind, I don't remember what kind. There was another video, another argument, another beautiful meal, another destroyed thing. My pulse didn't change once. I just kept moving through it like weather.

I'm not proud of that. I used to be someone who got worked up. Who had to close the app because the feelings were too much. Now I can watch catastrophe and then a recipe and then a reunion and then more catastrophe, all in a row, and just feel steady. Numb isn't the word. I'm still in there. I've just run out of the bandwidth to actually land. Everything bounces off now. I wonder sometimes what would actually reach me. What would have to happen to break through. Is that a question you've asked yourself lately?