I didn't speak a single word out loud today. I texted my order at the coffee shop, nodded at the barista, typed everything I needed to type. When I got home I opened my mouth just to check - a kind of test - and what came out was thin and unconvincing, like I'd woken a muscle that had been asleep too long. The words I use online come out clean. The ones I try to say out loud just sort of trail off. I cleared my throat and tried again. It didn't help.

I've been thinking about how my voice used to do things I didn't ask it to. It would catch when I was nervous. It would go quiet when something mattered too much. Now I edit before I speak. I draft and revise and delete, and what's left is careful and flat. The unspoken things are piling up somewhere I can't reach. How much of what you feel have you stopped trying to say out loud? And when did that start feeling normal?