I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket during dinner and reached for it without even finishing the sentence I was saying. It wasn’t there. I’d left it on the counter. I checked anyway, walked to the counter, picked it up, checked it, put it down, came back to the table, and finished my sentence like nothing had happened. But something had happened. My body just moved on its own in response to a sensation that wasn’t real. I don’t know how many times a day that happens. I’ve stopped counting.

The feeling of waiting for a buzz has become constant, a kind of background hum in the body. Even when I put the phone in another room I can feel it from there, like a sound just below hearing. It’s not anxiety exactly. More like the nervous system practicing. Staying ready. I wonder what I would feel if I left the phone off for a whole day - not anxious, just the body, just whatever the body used to feel before it was always partly listening for the next thing. Have you tried it?